I hold a pro-drug stance and I’m supportive of the right to use any substance, however I’ve come to have a very strict opinion when it comes to playing high during BDSM scenes. I’ve lost count of how many times things went wrong when someone was under the influence. Even with experience and trust, the risks simply multiply.

In our times, especially in a city like Berlin, drug use is widespread and driven by many different motivations: coping, healing, enhancing experiences, escaping, or seeking connection. I don’t believe in discriminating against any substance, and I tend to dislike when people harshly judge those who choose to use drugs.

Often, I encounter kinksters who are very judgmental of drug use, and just as often, I meet people who harshly judge kink or certain kink practices . Honestly, I find both attitudes equally off-putting. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness in their own way, and for some, that pursuit includes drug use, kink, or even taboo practices like age play, race play, or consensual non-consent (CNC).

I also don’t think it’s my place to judge how frequently someone uses substances or how they function in life while doing so. I have done that, and I see now that it was a mistake. Drug use is a deeply personal and subjective experience. It depends on countless factors: mental and emotional state, intention, body chemistry, environment, life history, and more.

As long as someone is responsible, and not causing harm and misery to those around them, I believe they should have the freedom to choose their own version of happiness whether that includes substances, kink, or both.

That said, BDSM is built on a foundation of trust, communication, and consent. When someone is high, those foundations are seriously compromised. Consent must be enthusiastic and clearly communicated. Being under the influence dulls judgment and can make it difficult to give or recognize genuine consent.

Communication is crucial. Safewords, check-ins, and subtle signs of distress rely on quick, clear exchanges between partners. Being intoxicated can cause delayed reactions, confusion, or makes it difficult for you to express discomfort or withdraw consent in case you feel so. This makes any scene very unpredictable and terribly unsafe.

Another major issue is pain perception. Stimulants or ketamine can numb physical sensations. While this might seem like an advantage in the moment, it’s actually a serious risk. If you can’t accurately feel what’s happening to your body, you’re far more likely to push past your limits and sustain injuries you may not even notice until much later.

BDSM often involves intense physical elements, bondage, impact play, choking, edge play etc that carry inherent risks, even when all participants are sober and experienced. When you add intoxication into the equation, you increase the chance of accidents, and poor decision-making. Regarding the emotional state, substances can make you more volatile, and aftercare can become ineffective.

Even for regular users, drugs are unpredictable. Your mental state, nutrition, sleep patterns, and hidden stressors all affect how substances hit you on any given day. Scenes are naturally intense, multi-layered experiences, your psychological, physical, and emotional systems are already in a heightened state. Adding drugs to the mix doesn’t “enhance” that it disrupts it.

There’s also a major difference between doing drugs in a chill, social setting with close friends and being high during a BDSM scene with unknown to you partners or setting. The aftermath of a scene can already be risky. Submissives may be dealing with lingering pain, bruises, or deep emotional processing. Dominants may face guilt or anxiety. Now add the chemical crash from substances like alcohol (a known depressant), or stimulants and psychedelics, and what might have been an otherwise positive experience could feel like a nightmare.

These chemicals and emotions can easily distort your perception of the scene. Your mind may look for something or someone to blame. This can lead to demonizing the Dominant, the submissive, or BDSM as a whole. Bitterness and resentment may build, even when no one actually did anything wrong. The distortion of reality is almost guaranteed when drugs are involved anyways.

Being a responsible top or bottom means showing up fully present mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I understand that some people use light substances, like a glass of wine or a bit of weed, to calm their nerves before a scene. While that can be okay in moderation, I’ve found that there are healthier, more sustainable ways to manage pre-scene anxiety.

One of the most effective approaches for me is nutrition. I recommend eating wholesome meals rich in complex carbs and protein. I love having toasted whole grain bread with peanut butter, banana, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. It’s satisfying, energizing, and not too heavy. Another go-to meal is rice with sautéed mushrooms and veggies, it keeps me full for hours without weighing me down. A protein shake with vegan milk is also something I enjoy before a scene, especially when I want something light but nourishing.

Staying hydrated is essential. I also rely on physical activity to regulate my stress levels, intense cardio and weight lifting if I’m feeling anxious, or yoga a few hours beforehand to center myself. A sauna followed by a cold shower can really help reset my nervous system and take the edge off.

Right before the session, breathing exercises work wonders to ground me.

I also love to begin my sessions with a short guided meditation, just 5 to 10 minutes where my submissive and I sit together in silence, simply breathing. This tender moment brings us clear focus and an immediate sense of deep connection.

In short, better to choose presence and mind-body awareness to fully experience all that BDSM has to offer, instead of operating from a high-stressed or sedated monkey mind.

With Love,

Mistress Aido